by Chris Huckins Google+ Email 

 

03 June 2014

Flossy Foodies: Grab Your Gourmet Flavored Toothpicks

Posted in Health & Wellness

Long before Ryan Gosling littered the San Fernando Valley with toothpicks in Drive, our ancestors used bronze toothpicks as dental insurance.

Compared to the precious metals of the past, our wooden toothpicks are overdue for an upgrade. Introducing: flavored gourmet toothpicks by Castor. 

The Phood Station product has its own Kickstarter which expires in 2 weeks, but the shelf life of the aromatic flavored powder on the tip of each cocktail stick is probably a lot longer. 

Every toothpick comes in 2 flavors. The aforementioned powder is coated on each tip and upon tasting, the flavor pops like a toothpick to a balloon. The second flavor along the stick has a longer lasting effect, which sounds dirty, especially if described by a Frenchman

When I first saw the innovative cleaning device, I wondered who would want chunks of random flavors stuck in their gums, especially oddities like: sake & blueberry, raspberry & wasabi, and kumquat & beet. 

Then I removed the toothpick from my brain and had an epiphany without reading the product description. It's not just for after eating, it's for enhanced eating. 

Imagine serving your snobby foodie friends with flavored toothpicks paired with your favorite hors d'oeuvre. Then get comfortable with using the word "hors d'oeuvre". The Castor toothpicks are already a French-Canadian product. 

Each box comes with 32 toothpicks and an educational "English-French" translation. 

"Kumquat" doesn't translate in French, just as "betterave" isn't code for party drugs. It means "beets". However, scroll to the FAQ and you'll learn the important answer to the lingual enigma, "Is there a difference between (the American spelling) 'flavor' and (French spelling) 'flavour'?" Ours is more flavorful.  

Just before you try slicing a prime rib with buttered potato dental floss, wake up. That isn't real. Gourmet toothpicks by Castor are the future, but only with a small donation from you. Feeling rich? An $8000 donation lets you create your own double flavor toothpick.

Just don't use pine & oak, spruce & birch, or bamboo & redwood. Those woody flavors defeat the purpose of a futuristic toothpick. And besides, I came up with them.